Dear Beautiful Black Mom

 
 

Dear Beautiful Black Mom, You are afraid of the unknown. Your labor delivery didn’t go as planned. The doctors/nurses didn’t take your concerns seriously. Postpartum is HARD! You are worried. You are stressed. You are exhausted. You are physically and mentally drained. Your body doesn’t look and feel the same anymore. Your stretch marks are showing. Your back is aching. BUT.... You created a beautiful human. You are a strong black woman. You are stronger than you think. You are beautiful. You are not alone. You are courageous. You have the strength. You are a doer. You are smart. You are intelligent. You are bold. You are your child’s hero. You are a warrior. You are powerful. You got this. You are a child of God. You are a prayer warrior. You are doing an amazing job! Keep up the good work. You got this! Dear Beautiful Black Moms, let’s talk. I’m going to be completely honest. I have my days where I think to myself: what the heck am I doing? Am I a good mother? How am I taking care of this little human? However, I constantly have to practice re-shifting my mindset from negative to positive. I have to slowly put myself back in check. Being on social media doesn’t help my situation. Sometimes we unintentionally compare ourselves to other moms who immediately snapped back after having a child just a week ago. I think to myself “what the fuck am I doing wrong?” “Why my body don’t look like hers?” “I had a child before her; why do I still look pregnant?” “How the heck did she slim down so quickly?” “How the heck did she have the energy to put on nice clothes, have her hair did, and put makeup on?” AND, ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT, she now has a flat belly. Seeing women make their labor journey look easy usually doesn’t help the way we think about ourselves as moms. Many of us have this picture of motherhood as looking good all the time, doing everything perfectly, making the perfect decisions, and being that perfect super mom. But, the reality is that we are not perfect. Being that picture perfect mom doesn't exist. We are not perfect, and that’s ok. I sometimes struggle with thinking negatively about myself and my experiences, but I am usually able to snap out of my negative thoughts by doing affirmations. In the beginning, doing affirmations was something I wasn’t used to and I lowkey thought, “does this shit work?” However, with time and practice, it got easier. Have you had issues with snapping back mentally after giving birth? What are you doing to remind yourself that you’re doing a great job? What advice would you give expecting moms or current moms who are second guessing themselves to help them see their greatness?

 
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